September 29th, 2026
Why do toddlers bite, and should parents be worried? From teething and frustration to communication and big emotions, there are many reasons biting can happen in the early years.
This blog will help you to understand why you child may have bitten and the practical ways adults can help.
Finding out your child has been involved in a biting incident can be unsettling, whether they bit another child or were bitten themselves. It’s understandable to wonder why it happened, what it means, and how best to support your child.
Laura Clay, our Regional Childcare Director for the North at Partou, has seen this many times. As a former nursery practitioner with more than 26 years childcare experience, Laura knows just how worrying biting incidents can feel for everyone involved.
Laura’s first message is a steadying one. Biting is a common stage in the early years, and it is usually a form of communication rather than aggression. Often, it happens when a child is trying to express a feeling, need or frustration that they do not yet have the words for.
For many children, yes. Research suggests up to a quarter of all children will bite at some stage, and most will hit, push or kick at some point too as they learn to navigate the world around them.
It tends to ease by around three to four years of age as language skills develop and children find other ways to make themselves understood. It is especially common between around one and three years old, when children are full of big feelings and still building the words to match them.
Younger children are still building the skills that help them wait, share and cope with big feelings. Those skills take time to develop, and while they are forming, children lean on whatever tools they have. “When a very young child bites, they are usually telling us something,” Laura says. “They are experiencing something they do not have the words for yet, and biting can be a reaction to that. Our job is to help them find a different way through, gently and consistently, over time.”
Some children may bite for longer or more frequently due to additional communication, sensory or developmental needs. Where this is the case, nursery teams work closely with families and, where appropriate, other professionals to understand the child’s individual needs and provide tailored support.
Although biting is common in the early years, it is one of those behaviours that can provoke strong emotions in adults. Biting does not mean a child is “naughty”, aggressive or destined to have behavioural difficulties later on. In most cases, it reflects a temporary developmental need rather than a concern about a child’s character.
Young children are not born able to manage strong emotions or impulses on their own. They develop these skills gradually through co-regulation, where caring adults help them calm, understand their feelings and feel safe. With repeated experiences of being supported by trusted adults, including nursery key workers, children begin to develop the self-regulation skills they will use throughout life.
Understanding what might be driving the behaviour is often a helpful first step. While every child is different, these are some of the most common reasons toddlers bite:
Understanding the reason behind the behaviour matters, because it helps us focus on what a child may be trying to communicate rather than simply the bite itself.
Biting is not unique to nursery, but group settings can create more situations where it might happen. Nursery gives children lots of valuable opportunities to play, learn and build friendships, but it also brings challenges. Sharing toys, taking turns, navigating friendships and coping with busy environments are all skills that take time to develop. As children learn these skills, biting can become part of how they communicate their needs and feelings.
Biting can happen in any setting where young children spend time together, and it is not a sign of poor care or inadequate supervision. Experienced early years teams understand why biting happens, look for patterns and triggers, and work closely with children to reduce the likelihood of it happening again.
Your child’s key person plays an important role in helping them feel safe, understood and emotionally secure. Strong, trusting relationships help children learn how to manage feelings, communicate needs and build positive relationships with others.
When a bite happens, our team follows a calm, consistent approach that we use across all of our nurseries, and the same care goes to both children. It has three steps: regulate, relate, repair.
Our aim is not to make children apologise before they are ready. Instead, we help them develop empathy over time by noticing how others feel, repairing relationships and learning alternative ways to communicate.
First, we help everyone regulate. The child who was hurt is comforted and reassured by a familiar team member, who helps them to settle. We do this alongside the child who bit, so they can see the effect their actions had on their friend. If there is a mark, a first aid trained team member gives care and we complete an accident form. The child who displayed the behaviour is supported to calm down too, through a cuddle, some slow breaths, or a quiet chat about how they are feeling. A child who is overwhelmed cannot take anything in, so calm comes first.
Then we relate. Once children are settled, we talk with them in steady, age appropriate language. With a younger child that might be as simple as “No biting. That hurts,” then a pause to let them process, then “I know you are sad.” It names the feeling while making it clear the biting is not okay. With an older child we might say, “I know you are upset, but teeth are for food, not for biting people. That really hurt your friend.”
Then we repair and look ahead. The team member tries to understand the cause of the behaviour, and talks it through with your family so we are all responding the same way. If teething or a sensory need is driving it, we offer a teether and a simple, repeated phrase like “Bite this,” so a child learns what they can do instead. An older child is supported to problem-solve for next time, practising “Help, please,” or working out how to ask for a turn with a toy. Young children find it hard to stop and think in the heat of the moment, so we help them practise these skills consistently until they become more natural.
Afterwards, your child’s key person, the team member who knows them best, will keep a close eye on how things are going. They will look for any patterns, such as particular times of day, situations or activities that may be linked to the behaviour. By understanding what may be triggering the biting, we can offer the right support and help prevent it from happening again. We also make sure to speak directly with the families involved, so everyone understands what has happened and how we are supporting their child.
Children benefit from a consistent approach at nursery and at home. This is why we keep families informed about what we are seeing, the support we are putting in place and any strategies that seem to be helping.
At Partou nurseries we work to reduce the likelihood of biting by:
If your child has been bitten, wanting a name is an understandable response. You might want to make sense of what happened, perhaps you want someone held to account or you may even want to reassure the other family. It can be hard to understand why that information cannot be shared, particularly when your own child was the one who bit.
Confidentiality protects every child and every family, including yours. Naming the child can sometimes create tension between families, and it can leave a very young child labelled for something they are still learning to move past. Keeping names private lets us focus fully on what matters, which is supporting both children and responding to their individual needs.
It’s also worth remembering that the same approach applies to every child. We protect each family’s privacy and never share information that identifies another child.
A calm, consistent approach at home and at nursery often works best. When children receive the same messages and support from the adults around them, they are more likely to feel secure, understood and supported as they move through this stage. Here are some approaches you might find useful at home:
Biting can feel like a difficult family topic to navigate. Whether your child has bitten another child or been bitten themselves, it is understandable that you may feel worried, frustrated or unsure how to respond, especially if it feels out of character for your child.
Families are sometimes advised to punish biting or even bite a child back to show them that it hurts. However, neither approach is recommended. Biting is usually a sign that a child needs support with communication, emotions or self-regulation, rather than punishment.Young children learn through the actions of the adults around them, and being bitten by a trusted adult can be upsetting and confusing.
Instead, a calm response, clear boundaries and gentle redirection help children learn far more effectively than harsh consequences ever could.
If biting is becoming more frequent, continues beyond the toddler years, or is accompanied by other behaviours that concern you, additional support is available. Your child’s key person is a good first point of contact, as they know your child well and can help build a fuller picture by sharing what they are seeing at nursery and discussing any concerns or observations they may have.
From here, your health visitor or GP can also offer advice and support if you decide you are ready for it.
Reaching out is not a cause for alarm. It is simply another way of supporting your child and making sure they have everything they need to thrive.
If you would like to read more or find something to share with your child, these are worth a look:
We hope this has helped you better understand why biting happens and what it can mean for young children. Biting can feel upsetting when it happens, but for most children it is just one small part of a much bigger story of learning and development.
Whether your child has bitten another child or been bitten themselves, they are navigating one of the most important parts of early childhood: learning how to communicate their needs, manage their feelings and build relationships with the people around them.
With time, support and development, most children move beyond this stage and find other ways to communicate their needs. If you would like to see how Partou nurseries support children through the various stages of early years development, we’d love to show you around You can find your local Partou nursery whenever you are ready.
Biting is common in babies and toddlers and usually eases by around three to four years of age. As children develop language and find other ways to express what they need, the urge to bite tends to fade on its own.
No. Professional consensus is that punishing, shaming or labelling a child does not reduce biting and can make it more likely by raising a child’s anxiety. Naming feelings, staying calm and offering other ways to communicate work far better.
No. Biting a child back does not teach the lesson families hope for. It shows a child that biting is something adults do too, and it can damage the trust they depend on. Calm, consistent redirection is the approach that helps.
Confidentiality protects every child and family. Sharing names can cause tension between families and can leave a young child labelled for a stage they are still moving through. Keeping names private lets the setting focus on supporting both children.
It can. Sore, swollen gums create a strong urge to bite down, and for some children that urge finds another child. Offering something safe to bite, such as a teething ring or a cool cloth, gives that feeling somewhere else to go.
Laura Clay is Regional Childcare Director for the North at Partou and has more than 26 years of experience in the early years sector. During her career, she has held a range of nursery practitioner, management and senior leadership roles, including Regional Business Manager at Partou before moving into her current position. Laura is passionate about helping children develop the communication and emotional skills they need to express themselves, and about working alongside families as they navigate the everyday joys and challenges of the early years.
Search our nurseries by name, town, city or postcode.
Partou Stonehouse Day Nursery & Pre-School is celebrating a positive Ofsted inspection, with inspectors praising the nursery's inclusive environment, nurturing team and the strong sense of belonging created for children and families alike.
Find out what impressed inspectors and how the set...
A warm welcome, strong relationships and a focus on every child's unique strengths have earned praise from Ofsted at Partou Thornbury Day Nursery & Pre-School.
Find out what inspectors had to say about the setting's approach to early years care and education.
Real life learning experiences are an important part of nursery life at Partou. Read all about how Partou Prospect House welcomed local police officers to the nursery to support children's community awareness.
